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Spiritual Serendipity

Spiritual Serendipity by Richard Eyre, 1997

Most things, even personal things, are beyond our control. Relaxing and thinking things through often brings more results than thrashing and forcing. People can develop an attitude and a state of mind that makes guidance and spiritual serendipity more likely, frequent, and consequential.

Richard Ayre goes to Sri Lanka, once known as Serendip, to retell and interpret the old Persian fable, The Three Princes of Serendip, about three brothers whose alertness and sagacity allowed them to consistently discover things that were far better than what they had been seeking.

Marcia Conner gave me this book -- it's one of her favorites, and Marcia reads more books than anyone else I know. She cautions people not to be put off by the semi-religious title. There's some "higher power" material at the end but it's not a critical part of the philosophy here.

This is a great get-your-shit-together book. If you're rethinking your purpose, read it.

For many, positive attitude is essentially a self-con. (The Little Engine That Could, Emile Coué) Serendipity is the ability to notice what others miss-to observe and appreciate beauty, to sense needs and opportunities, to be receptive to impressions, intuitions, and insights. One a higher level, serendipity of the spirit is receptiveness to inputs beyond our sense, the deeper nudges and inspirations that come to our hearts and our souls.

So how do we change this system,
this society?
We don't.
What we change is our susceptibility to it,
our stereotyped subscription to its standard,
our dependence on its approval.
What we change is
ourselves.

And the tool that turns and times the transition
is something this book calls
spiritual serendipity.


And both growth and joy are
More about being perceptive
Than competitive,
More about being guided
Than about being gifted.
And we should worry more
About not feeling than about not failing.

The challenge of a more spiritual paradigm is
To rise above
The usual treadmill
Of comparing and competing,
The usual pattern
Of praying deeply only in crisis,
The usual life of essentially drifting into things,
Of letting circumstances or envy
Or paths of least resistance
Decide our direction
Instead of shafts of light from above.
(Or at least insightful glimpses from within.)

Spiritual serendipity doesn't have to do with doing. It has to do with being.

Walpole cultivated an attitude of awareness, unpredictability, spontaneity, and joy, and that he relished the unexpected, the happy discoveries and surprises of life. Perhaps he found slight frustration in the fact that there was no word to describe the attitude or quality that he most values. (Walpole brought the word "serendipity" into the English language.)

When we concentrate only on the task at hand, on the schedule, routine, or plan of the day, we are like the plowhorse with blinders on who sees only the straight furrow ahead of him. But when we focus on what is happening as well as on what we are doing--and on what is around us and in us-we begin to see ourselves as part of a far bigger picture and being to be as aware of the feelings in our hearts as we are of the plans in our minds.


Expect the unexpected.

Serendipity is a bridge between structure and spontaneity, between discipline and flexibility, between the expected and the unexpected, between plans and surprises, between relationships and achievements, and between the forced and the fun.

Serendipity can be thought of as a sort of bridge between metaphorical regions that are otherwise hostile to each other-lands that, without the "serendipity bridge," we have to choose between because the gap separating them is so wide.

One is the land of structure and discipline, of goal setting, positive mental attitude, and achievement. It is inhabited mainly by highpowered business executives, aspiring yuppies, left-brain thinkers, and superachievers. The other is the land of spontaneity and flexibility, of sensitivity, observation, and relationships. Here we find many artists and creative thinkers, philosophers and would-be Renaissance men, and people who use the intuitive right hemisphere of their brains.

People in one land travel in jet planes, power yachts, and snowmobiles. In the other land, many prefer hot-air balloons, sailboats, and cross-country skis.

Although there are overlaps, we generally associate people in each land with certain things: In the first land, people read The Wall Street Journal, dress for success, and listen to motivational tapes. In the second land, people read poetry, dress for comfort, and listen to Stravinsky. In land A politics means power, progress, military strength, and tax loopholes. In land B politics means environmental conservation, peace marches, and government welfare. In one land people live to work and say things like, "Act, don't react," and "Don't just sit there, do something." In the other land, people work to live and say things like, "Go with the flow" and "Don't just do something, sit there."

The problem most of us have is that we like a lot of things about both lands and we like lots of the people in both lands. And there are certain parts of us that we know belong in each land. We recognize that each of the two places has its own unique beauty and usefulness. We also know that we appreciate one all the more after we have spent time in the other-like going from the snows of Colorado to a beach in California.

If you were to ask Robert to compare himself with Bob, he would do so like this:

Me: Winner, clean, proactive, goal setter and planner, freedom, progress, modern, believing.

Him: Loser, dirty, reactionary, aimless, socialistic, backward, out-of-date, doubting.

On the other hand, if you asked Bob to compare himself to Robert, he would do so like this:

Me: Friendly, compassionate, real, natural, thoughtful, love for earth, comfortable, practical, no class structure, independent thinking.

Him: Pushy, selfish, artificial, arbitrary, exploitive, stuffed shirt, class- and prestige-oriented, close-minded, blind faith.

Because of their extremes, both Robert and Bob seem more wrong than right. Each has disconnected himself from an important half of life. Each needs the bridge.

Not only can people who have built the bridge of serendipity have the best of both worlds, they can become the best of both. They can be the good parts of Robert and Bob and avoid the dangerous extremes of each. They can derive joy from giving and from getting. They can find real fulfillment in meeting a goal, in checking off things on their to-do list, in competing, and in winning. But they can also feel the joy of a red sunset, of doing a spur-of-the-moment anonymous good turn, of writing a poem, or of winning a small smile from a small child.

Serendipity is a bridge that lets us have our cake and eat it too. We don't have to choose between being structured schedulers or flexible free-lancers. We can have both goals and surprises, both plans and spontaneity, both discipline and flexibility. We can ride in jet planes and hot-air balloons. We can get there and enjoy the journey.

Exercises


Write Poetry

You have to see something rather clearly to write poetry about it. Further, you have to see with some insight, or involvement, or irony and tofeel something in what you see. Writing poetry (even attempting) forces one to notice, and to think, and to feel. Worrying about the poem's quality or your ability is mute, because the readership is you.


Slow Down

Consciously walk a little slower, move a little slower.

Hurry tramples watchfulness and thoughtfulness. Smell the flowers, feel the sun, pause to breathe. Notice the needs of others and try to feel empathy. Sometimes relaxing your pace can lengthen your stride.


Welcome Surprises


And anticipate them, look for them, expect them, relish them. Surprises, well received, don't knock you off course.

They reveal new destinations and new directions.


Enjoy the Journey-Now

"Are we having fun yet?" says the popular T-shirt message. Thinking of the happiness and fulfillment of life as a misplaced thing, likely to be found later, after you "get there," is living in a low realm of high folly. Look for (and find) joy today. Notice the moments, Remember that life is not a dress rehearsal.


Hold ``Sunday Sessions"

Spend a half hour alone, on the first day of the week, looking ahead to the other six, and thinking about what matters, about priorities and opportunities. Without goals, serendipity won't work. We need the "else" if we want to "find something of value while seeking something else." Regular Sunday sessions adjust and refine goals as new options appear and new capacities grow.


Simplify and Set Your Own Standards

The trading of time for things is usually a bad deal. When the things are the expensive trappings of style, image, impression, the trade-off can be a disaster. Advertising is the fine art of trying to make us think we need what we actually only want. And trying to impress others with the newest and costliest car, fashion, brand name, address, toy, or trend is the depth of bad-deal trade-offs and the height of self-deceit.


Make Goals Without Plans

While goals are an indispensable part of serendipity, tight, over-detailed plans are not. Spend your Sunday Session and other "thought time" conceptualizing your goals, visualizing them, and laying out a general route toward them, but acknowledge that your actual path will be some combination of the schedule and the surprise.



Set Up Split-Page Scheduling


If you're a list maker
make your list (or write your schedule)
on the left side of your page.
Draw a line down the center
and leave the right side blank until day's end.
Then, there on the right,
jot down the day's serendipity
(think back, remember
a new acquaintance, a fresh idea,
a child's question,
an unexpected opportunity, a friend's need,
a chance meeting, a beautiful flower).

For fun, at the end of the week,
look back on the lefts and rights of your days
and discover
that what "just happened" on the
unknown right
is often more valuable than
what you made happen on the known left.

If you are already committed
to a particular type
of schedule book or planner,
stay with it, but alter it by putting a vertical
"serendipity line" down the center of every page.

Keep your structure to the left, your spontaneity to the right. If you are free of present commitments to a particular type of planner, try the monthly "anti-planner" mentioned at the end of this book.


Have Faith-Believe in Serendipity



"Nothing is coincidence,"
says Redfield in The Celestine Prophesy.
Believe it.

There is something cosmic that connects
everything.
When we believe in the connections we begin
to see them.
When you miss a flight, maybe there is
someone you should meet on the next one.
Have faith that things happen for a reason,
that there is opportunity (and beauty) in everything.


We attract serendipity by believing in it.



Summary:


Sagacity - be mindful, don't obsess

Attitude of good fortune - pronoia

Thoughtful goals - until something better comes along

 

 

 

 



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