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Spiritual Serendipity by Richard Eyre, 1997
Most things, even personal things, are beyond our control. Relaxing
and thinking things through often brings more results than thrashing
and forcing. People can develop an attitude and a state of mind that
makes guidance and spiritual serendipity more likely, frequent, and
consequential.
Richard Ayre goes to Sri Lanka, once known as Serendip, to retell and
interpret the old Persian fable, The Three Princes of Serendip,
about three brothers whose alertness and sagacity allowed them to consistently
discover things that were far better than what they had been seeking.
Marcia Conner gave me this book -- it's one of her favorites, and Marcia
reads more books than anyone else I know. She cautions people not to
be put off by the semi-religious title. There's some "higher power"
material at the end but it's not a critical part of the philosophy here.
This is a great get-your-shit-together book. If you're rethinking your
purpose, read it.
For many, positive attitude is essentially a self-con. (The Little
Engine That Could, Emile Coué) Serendipity is the ability
to notice what others miss-to observe and appreciate beauty, to sense
needs and opportunities, to be receptive to impressions, intuitions,
and insights. One a higher level, serendipity of the spirit is receptiveness
to inputs beyond our sense, the deeper nudges and inspirations that
come to our hearts and our souls.
So how do we change this system,
this society?
We don't.
What we change is our susceptibility to it,
our stereotyped subscription to its standard,
our dependence on its approval.
What we change is
ourselves.
And the tool that turns and times the transition
is something this book calls
spiritual serendipity.
And both growth and joy are
More about being perceptive
Than competitive,
More about being guided
Than about being gifted.
And we should worry more
About not feeling than about not failing.
The challenge of a more spiritual paradigm is
To rise above
The usual treadmill
Of comparing and competing,
The usual pattern
Of praying deeply only in crisis,
The usual life of essentially drifting into things,
Of letting circumstances or envy
Or paths of least resistance
Decide our direction
Instead of shafts of light from above.
(Or at least insightful glimpses from within.)
Spiritual serendipity doesn't have to do with doing. It has to do with
being.
Walpole cultivated an attitude of awareness, unpredictability, spontaneity,
and joy, and that he relished the unexpected, the happy discoveries
and surprises of life. Perhaps he found slight frustration in the fact
that there was no word to describe the attitude or quality that he most
values. (Walpole brought the word "serendipity" into the English language.)
When we concentrate only on the task at hand, on the schedule, routine,
or plan of the day, we are like the plowhorse with blinders on who sees
only the straight furrow ahead of him. But when we focus on what is
happening as well as on what we are doing--and on what is around us
and in us-we begin to see ourselves as part of a far bigger picture
and being to be as aware of the feelings in our hearts as we are of
the plans in our minds.
Expect the unexpected.
Serendipity is a bridge between structure and spontaneity, between
discipline and flexibility, between the expected and the unexpected,
between plans and surprises, between relationships and achievements,
and between the forced and the fun.
Serendipity can be thought of as a sort of bridge between metaphorical
regions that are otherwise hostile to each other-lands that, without
the "serendipity bridge," we have to choose between because the gap
separating them is so wide.
One is the land of structure and discipline, of goal setting, positive
mental attitude, and achievement. It is inhabited mainly by highpowered
business executives, aspiring yuppies, left-brain thinkers, and superachievers.
The other is the land of spontaneity and flexibility, of sensitivity,
observation, and relationships. Here we find many artists and creative
thinkers, philosophers and would-be Renaissance men, and people who
use the intuitive right hemisphere of their brains.
People in one land travel in jet planes, power yachts, and snowmobiles.
In the other land, many prefer hot-air balloons, sailboats, and cross-country
skis.
Although there are overlaps, we generally associate people in each land
with certain things: In the first land, people read The Wall Street
Journal, dress for success, and listen to motivational tapes. In the
second land, people read poetry, dress for comfort, and listen to Stravinsky.
In land A politics means power, progress, military strength, and tax
loopholes. In land B politics means environmental conservation, peace
marches, and government welfare. In one land people live to work and
say things like, "Act, don't react," and "Don't just sit there, do something."
In the other land, people work to live and say things like, "Go with
the flow" and "Don't just do something, sit there."
The problem most of us have is that we like a lot of things about both
lands and we like lots of the people in both lands. And there are certain
parts of us that we know belong in each land. We recognize that each
of the two places has its own unique beauty and usefulness. We also
know that we appreciate one all the more after we have spent time in
the other-like going from the snows of Colorado to a beach in California.
If you were to ask Robert to compare himself with Bob, he would do so
like this:
Me: Winner, clean, proactive, goal setter and planner, freedom,
progress, modern, believing.
Him: Loser, dirty, reactionary, aimless, socialistic, backward,
out-of-date, doubting.
On the other hand, if you asked Bob to compare himself to Robert, he
would do so like this:
Me: Friendly, compassionate, real, natural, thoughtful, love
for earth, comfortable, practical, no class structure, independent thinking.
Him: Pushy, selfish, artificial, arbitrary, exploitive, stuffed
shirt, class- and prestige-oriented, close-minded, blind faith.
Because of their extremes, both Robert and Bob seem more wrong than
right. Each has disconnected himself from an important half of life.
Each needs the bridge.
Not only can people who have built the bridge of serendipity have the
best of both worlds, they can become the best of both. They can be the
good parts of Robert and Bob and avoid the dangerous extremes of each.
They can derive joy from giving and from getting. They can find real
fulfillment in meeting a goal, in checking off things on their to-do
list, in competing, and in winning. But they can also feel the joy of
a red sunset, of doing a spur-of-the-moment anonymous good turn, of
writing a poem, or of winning a small smile from a small child.
Serendipity is a bridge that lets us have our cake and eat it too.
We don't have to choose between being structured schedulers or flexible
free-lancers. We can have both goals and surprises, both plans and spontaneity,
both discipline and flexibility. We can ride in jet planes and hot-air
balloons. We can get there and enjoy the journey.
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